The Yerton Dreamhouse

This is the article that I put on Wikipedia yesterday to clarify the issue of the Coat of  Arms.

West Kilbride does not have a legitimate coat of Arms registered by the Court of the Lord Lyon. However the coat of arms most often associated with the village was invented by the Staffordshire pottery manufacturer W.H.Goss in the late 1890’s to early 1900’s in order to sell crested china products in local retail outlets.

The top of the shield bears two fleurs de lis with a hunting horn between them. The left and right sections of the bottom of the shield are depictions of two castles, representing Law Castle and Portencross Castle. In the centre section is a representation of the Spanish galleon which sank off Portencross. Below the galleon is the cross of St. Bride overlaid with a mill iron and, above it, the shuttle which represents the village’s old weaving industry. This original coat of arms had the phrase “Cautis Tutto” as the motto and can still be seen on various W.H.Goss pieces of the period in the Yerton collection.

Very soon after the W.H.Goss Pottery arrived, local West Kilbride publisher James Dalziel Simpson postcards started to appear with the coat of arms. Many of these are also in the Yerton collection dated around 1904-06.

Towards the first World War, when West Kilbride was booming as a tourist resort, other pottery manufacturers began to copy the West Kilbride crest. A few began to print the Hunterston crest on some of the cheaper tourist crested china items. It is worth noting that occasionally a third crest appears in relation to West Kilbride – the Boyd family crest – which has the symbol of a clenched fist as the main feature. The Yerton crested china collection contains many of these different items and can occasionally be seen on display at the Museum in West Kilbride.

By the early 1930’s, many small pottery companies had come and gone, and the proliferation of so many different crests on so many postcards and pottery items, made it almost impossible to determine which the “official” one was. So, the town council asked Jay Lascelles – the head of the Art Department of Ardrossan Academy – to design a crest based upon the original that could be used as the officially endorsed West Kilbride Coat of Arms. It is this final product – without the original motto of “Cautis Tutto” that can still be seen on display in the West Kilbride Museum.

As a final chapter to the West Kilbride Coat of Arms history, in the 1960’s West Kilbride Primary School modified the crest to include two books where two castles stand on the original coat of arms, and adopted their version as the school coat of arms.

To this day, it is generally held that the W.H.Goss pottery designed crest (without the motto) as re-constructed by Jay Lascelles, and approved by the town council in the 1930’s, is the final “official” version. The crest is not registered at the Court of the Lord Lyon, but if any community body felt that this was appropriate, they could do so at a relatively minimum cost.

So, here is the story. In 1979 my late father approached me (for that is how he did things - strange, but true). I was 16 and he 40. “It turns out that I am adopted” he says “I am not really a Brown but a George”.

“Whats all this tosh, father?” says I, and he startes to outline this tale of madness that would befit only a certain royal blood. He had found out that his real name was Albert Frederick George. That very afternoon we were to visit his real mother for the first time and knock her door.

That afternoon, we turned up at my real Grandmother’s street in Glasgow. I remember it well, because just as we were about to enter, a passing gentleman had an epileptic fit and fell to the ground shaking. We had to get an ambulance. But I digress.

Father knocked the door, and an elderly lady opened it. “Hello Mother” he said, and she replied”Come on in Albert (and bring the curious looking boy with you)”. My (now discovered adoptive)  Grandmother Brown had consistently sent photographs to Gran George all these years, and she was able to recognise him immediately.

Gran Brown was the older sister of 13 kids and Gran George was the younger. When my father had been born, his father (also called Albert Frederick George) had been killed in a terrible mining accident. Gran George was struggling to look after him at first so she trasferred him to Gran Brown for a period. My father had been born in Stoke and Gran George wanted move home to Glasgow. When the move was completed, my father was transferred to Glasgow where he caught pluracy and was transferred back to Portencoss to Gran Brown. By the time he was well enough, he didn’t want to leave and so Gran Brown agreed to adopt him.

Then Gran George outlined this tale of mystery and intrigue. The reason he had been called Albert Frederick George was because these wre the names of three German Crown Princes. Four generations back, in the straight male line, an illegitimate son had been born to George III and the palace (wanting to hush matters up) had transferred baby and mother to Stoke on Trent. Every month, someone from the palace would arrive with some cash to support the family, and my granmother was able to hand the final two guinea spade coins over to my father (I now have) as evidence. On the back of these two coins was a portrait of my new found great great great great grandfather - Georgivs III Ind Imp. And he was the spitting image of me!

In the eighties my father visited stoke and did some family research. He was able to confirm the names of his male line ancestors, but that was as far as he was able to take it. He died in my arms in 1991 from a massive stroke.

So, then we come to 1995. I spotted a Discovery channel programme outlining how a marriage certificate had been found. In fact George III had got married legitimately in secret to a quaker lady called Hannah Lightfoot. This was prior to his marriage to Queen Charlotte, and so it put me first in line for the throne - and there we had it, all I had to do was prove it.

Hannah Lightoot - any resemblance there?

The discover channel had been looking for the missing boy George and several contenders came forward, but none matched the history as known. I quickly phoned the Discovery Channel, but the programme was a repeat and the investigation over.

The next development was the advent of DNA technology.

My DNA

So, I see a programme on the telly about a guy who reckons that he is the last remaining male descendant from the blessed union of Hannah Lightfoot and George III. A professor guy (Mark Thomas) at London College University has isolated the Y chromosome from the last direct male decendant of the late grat King, and this fellow was confirmed as not the heir apparent.

Apparently George and Queen Charlotte had 16 male kids, the lines from which are all played out. A distant cousin died two or three years ago, and he was the last remaining male descendant, and he very kindly left Mark Thomas a sample of his DNA.

Having seen the programme, I looked up Mark Thomas and emailed him and relayed my story.  The good professor seems to be quite up for the challenge. So, I have had my DNA tested by a top lab company in USA - I had to specify the name “George” for comparison purposes. The President of the company is dealing with my DNA personally - Bennett Greenspan. Debretts have been advised and are on standby.

The latest news is that I have had the DNA results back and there is a 12 for 12 marker match on the databse - ooooerrrr. I don’t quite know what that means, but I suspect it is not bad. I have had a certificate and detailed analysis back in paper form and I have notified Professor Mak Thomas.

My understanding is that now he has to get the permission from the widow of the distant cousin, to check my DNA against the late fellow, and all being well, I could be King. This process could take weeks now, and we are in that hiatus.

As a caveat, I must mention that every family in England in the pre Victorian era wished themselves to be related to good King George. So the chances remain remote that I will take the imperial throne. And then we may have the current incumbent and her minions to deal with.

But, of course, for my friends, I offer a hope of happier times. Soon, we shall don the powdered wig, decide whether to be a fop or a dandy, seize back the colonies (USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, India etc. etc. ) and start again. I am already auditioning for Viceroys, Ambassadors, Consuls and Coolies. Soon the financial crisis will be over - for it will be all mine - hahahahaha.

Any news will be posted here first - but see the pictures below for immediate likeness comparisons.

Work is going well on the place names of West Kilbride and I think I am going to have some pretty exciting news next week, on what I have found for you.

May have discovered the reason for the name Pantonville Road and also Caldwell Road. Gotta check them out and then will report.

Also got a new piece of West Kilbride Crested China yesterday. Manufactured by the Glasgow Nautilus factory round about 1900, it sports the Hunterston coat of arms and is in right good condition. More to follow on this one too.

Watch this space.

Still waiting to hear from Professor Mark Thomas at London College University regarding the next stage in the DNA testing to discover when I shall be King. My friend Richard reckons that the reason why we have heard nothing is because MI5 will be formulating a cunning plan to bump me off.

It is probably more like the Uni is on Easter break, but just in case I disappear one dark wet night - you will know what has happened!

How we shall eat breakfast next year!

As soon as I hear anything, you will be the first to know!

Another of my favourite words (well, phrase I guess) is “Rubber Hammer”. It has such a lot of applications such as the practical solution to hammering two bits of  Ikea furniture together without breaking one of them. But it also evokes great imaginative uses such as one might find in my favourite cartoons (Wile Coyote). So, I am frequently to be heard shouting around the house - “fetch me my rubber hammer!”, much to the children’s great amusement.

A day out at Ardneil beach

I have a large collection of West Kilbride Crested China which I will share with you soon.

For a long time people have believed the myth that Jay Lascelles (the Art master of Ardrossan Academy in the early 1930’s) was asked to design a crest for the village of West Kilbride. In actual fact, I believe that all he was asked to do was paint a very large one for the village hall. You can still see that one in the Museum, I believe.

In my considerable antiques collection, I have old postcards from about 1905 with the crest on, and I have an extensive crested china collection with the coat of arms on. Very few of these items could have been made as late as 1930, and most are fairly well catalogued much earlier.

My earliest example of the West Kilbride coat of arms comes from the late 19th century and is a piece by W.H.Goss.

16. W.H.Goss Lobster Pot

 In fact, at this moment in time, I believe that the West Kilbride coat of arms was actually invented in the potteries of Staffodshire by the firm of W.H.Goss and Company in order to sell tourist wares in local outlets.

16. W.H.Goss Lobster Pot (bottom)

I think that subsequently, as the village really got busy in the early part of the 20th Century, other crested china manufacturers copied the coat of arms and started an industry locally.

Occasionally the Hunterston coat of arms appears on crested china, and this may have been to avoid some competitive difficulties, and I do have a few of those pieces which I will show in due course - but they are not seriously in contention for the “official” West Kilbride crest.

The piece above is number 16 in my collection - a W.H.Goss Model of a Lobster Trap. It dates from between 1887 and 1916, but I suspect it originally came from just prior to the start of the new century. It measures 66mm x 44mm and has the now familiar standard crest with a yellow top panel. It values at about £35-£40 in the current market, and worth every penny in my mind. The crest legend is “West Kilbride”, later these would vary considerably.

More to follow.

Hyndman Road appears to have been named after a John Blair Hyndman, who was the landowner of the Springside estate on the side of Law Hill, around the beginning of the 19^th Century.

In the book - “Topographical Description of Ayrshire; More Particularly of Cunninghame Together with a Genealogical Account of the Principal Families in that Bailiwick” by George Robertson (1820), we find the following:

SPRINGSIDE - This is situated north from Lawhill, and within a quarter of a mile of the village; extends to perhaps 200 acres, including a few acres of thriving plantation. From the house, hid almost amid its own woods, there is a remarkable fine view of the Frith of Clyde, and isle of Meikle Cumbra with its pleasant town of Millport, hardly to be surpassed. This property was acquired in 1790, from Mr James Fairie in Irvine, by the late Mr Robert Hyndman, of the Hyndmans of Lunderston in Renfrewshire, a family of pretty long standing and very respectably connected. He married Jean, daughter of Thomas Boyd of Orchard, and dying at an early period, left a son, John Blair Hyndman, W.S. of Sprinside and Burrowland, now representative of the Lunderston family; and two daughters; 1. Elisabeth and 2. Marianne; which last, died in the bloom of life, 29^th Dec. 1819.

Top News Exclusive - Catherine is to speak at the Scottish Parliament “Time for Reflection” on 30th September.

In the coming weeks and months, I am going to be posting my thoughts and theories regarding the place names in and around West Kilbride. For example, Kilbride would be old Celtic for “Church (or cell) of St Brigid (of Kildare).

My interest in the place names stems from when I used to own the Yerton Pottery, which was the old Post Office before that. Hence the Yerton Dreamhouse - where I used to hang out, and muse away a day or two with my chums. Heady days indeed. It turns out that Yerton is derived from middle English and means “Over the hill” (which suits me fine). Just up the road on Ritchie Street is Overton Church and clearly that has the same derivation. My understanding is that you must start from the administrative centre of the village - Kirktonhall - and from there, the area of land in question is “over the hill”. 

Before we go too fast though, lets start by defining some of the area. When you enter West Kilbride, it is said that you must leave the world. I have found this to be mainly true. The village is surrounded by eleven hills and the firth of the river Clyde. These eleven hills are as follows:

I have listed these hill names, because we will be trying to find meaning for the names in the next few weeks. These names often relate to areas or streets in the village, and so we can quickly deal with a lot of names and derivations in one go. e.g. Drummilling Hill gives rise to the Avenue and the Road. 

It is intended to be fun, and I hope that you can join in.

Bit poor, have lost my crown again.

Had the crown installed to the top right hand side in 2007, it fell out in 2008 and was “still under guarantee” according to Quinton. So it was replaced free of charge. That was toward the end of the 2008 dento-restoration programme. I had hoped to make it until my next six monthly check up with Quinton in June, but that now looks unlikely.

Actually, I have been nursing a broken tooth on the top left since the homemade broccoli soup incident in mid March, so I suppose I am going to have to fess up to Quinton anyway. He will no doubt activate the heavy plant and machinery and book his second holiday.

What can you do but carry on?